There’s nothing wrong with having some self compassion. It took me a long time to stop beating myself up for not being a certain way. As I have mentioned before; comparing is a waste of time.
Self compassion takes practice. If I made mistakes at work I would feel down about it for a while and think about how terrible I was compared to others. Perhaps I needed that to realise I wasn’t so bad and to work on myself a little more. When you feel down about yourself it can be difficult to get out of that mindset but, once you do, you’ll realise that you do have strengths.
Focusing on what is positive about myself and my life has helped me to develop some self compassion. If I am kind to others I can be kind to myself. Sometimes I think of my best friend or daughters and say “would I want to speak to them this way?” Of course I wouldn’t! It can be easy to fall into the trap of self pity and this continues creating negative feelings. To get out of that mindset we need a new, more positive one.
That is not to say that you ignore any feelings of negativity, instead, you acknowledge them without dwelling. As someone who used to dwell a lot (sometimes I still do!) I must admit I found it hard. You have to look at what causes you this unhappiness. Are you getting in the way of yourself? Look at your feelings with comfort and understanding. Making mistakes is a part of life, we just need to learn from them.
There was a really low point in my life where I felt worthless; that I was no good at anything and I hated lots about myself. Thinking about this makes me sad for myself back then. I needed help and I needed to practice some self compassion. Change your way of thinking which will take some time, but, do a little more each day.
Self compassion means loving all that you are and bouncing back when things go wrong. You don’t always have to pay attention to your thoughts, especially if they are negative. I used to think of it as my inner bully; I had to stand up to it! If you do look to your negative thoughts and find yourself dwelling then practice some positive self talk. Think about what it was that made you feel so negative about yourself. Write it down and then cross it out. Put something positive next to it. I find writing things down makes me feel better. Perhaps write down what someone said about you that made you feel good and whenever you feel down about yourself, look to it.
I feel like I am much kinder to myself than I used to be. I am stuck with myself so it needs to be a good journey.
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Time to be positive 