Bounce Back

It can be hard to simply forget and feel fine about a situation. If we could all do that then life would be easy! I have often dwelled on situations because of how I reacted to them and that my ‘bounce back rate’ was pretty slow.

When I talk about ‘bounce back rate’ I am talking about how quickly we can get over a situation. When you’re in the heat of the moment it is super difficult, particularly if there was one thing that was said that really hurt you. I have found that if I react quickly then I end up feeling worse because I am saying things I do not mean. The same goes for if someone else has made me feel bad or something has happened that simply made me feel inadequate. At the end of the day, these are all situations where I knew I could learn from them. That’s not to say I bounce back soon each time (No one is perfect!) but I have certainly learnt from my emotions and understand why I have reacted in such a way.

There have been times where I have heard good news  from  friends of mine and I have told them how happy I am yet I have also allowed myself to feel bad because I was so used to feeling insecure. I knew that this was becoming a trend so I had to try and understand why I felt so bad. Once I had then if I ever heard some similar news again I would have this sudden rush of anxiety and then I would feel better. This is because I learnt how to bounce back quicker. I was tired of feeling so insecure. I had to train my mind to focus more on the positives of the situation instead of the negative feelings I was so used to. It is not easy to do. Once you start training your mind it does become easier, however.  I had to not make this good news about me. Instead I thought of all the good things for them that would come of it and felt immediately better.

When we become upset and hurt about something that someone has said or done, sometimes,  nothing else matters. We just want to let out that anger or dwell on it for ages. For me, this didn’t do me any favours. I realised this and decided to change it. Breathing exercises help, counting to 10 and also remembering how the other person might feel. If they have said something hurtful then perhaps they are hurt too, or, they have problems with themselves.  Either way we know that dwelling on it only makes it worse. Once we can pause and think then we can react better. Sometimes it’s best to take some time out alone just to have a few breaths.  I know I’ve felt so much better having done this instead of going over the hurt. Once you feel calmer then you will react differently. I think it’s important to take that time so that you can think more clearly.

Bouncing back doesn’t mean not caring. And of course, if you have a traumatic experience you can not simply just bounce back- some things take more time and counselling. The key for most situations is to learn from it. Think about how it makes you or the other person feel. I found that if I think about how bad I feel due to dwelling then I can bounce back better each time. I know that dwelling will lead to the snowball effect of negative thinking. It just does not solve the issue, it only makes it worse. Once you learn to bounce back it’ll get quicker each time. You have to understand why you have reacted in such a way. Sometimes feelings are justified, but you must not let it take over. It’s not easy but talking to the person about how it makes you feel will lift a big weight off.

Bouncing back means acknowledging and moving on. Do not dwell. Think of yourself jumping out of the situation.