It can be tricky to find time to reflect when we are usually so busy trying to do so many things or by overthinking everything. I have had little time to stop since moving home to save up. As I am writing this I am able to process a little more about what has been going on.
Inbetween sorting and moving I have been reflecting on things in my own way. This means that I have been thinking about what I’ve left behind, how to start again and how to move forward. I have a notebook where I write down goals, things I am grateful for and things that I need to remind myself of. I know that I will be looking upon this again so that I can add to it what I have learnt recently.
To me, looking back at what has been is no longer a negative experience for me. Of course, we all have painful memories and it can be difficult to forget or even forgive. I have found that after overthinking before about the past has just made it more painful and harder to break from the cycle. I learnt to look back, but, not too much and to use it as a way of being more positive about the future. The thing is, some of the people that caused some of my anxiety may not even be thinking twice about me or any of the hard situations we all had to endure. Moving on means putting these situations and even people in, what I like to call, the removal box. This means that I had it in storage and it is now going to the tip! All these painful memories of anxiety, feeling low, feeling angry and sad in our original place can no longer bother me. If we continue to think about them we will only relive the pain and continue being hurt. I found it helpful to focus on the positives about the present situation. I would then think about all the wonderful things coming up. I know I deserve to feel on top and my girls also have more freedom to be themselves which is the main thing.
I felt hurt because I felt I had failed them. After feeling like I had restricted them it is such a relief to depart from those feelings. We have lots to be thankful for. Reflecting is not negative. Instead, it is looking at what has been and thinking about the changes made. A place of reflection can be making peace. It is important to reflect without over thinking.
I can forgive the people that caused my anxiety in my mind. I could never hang out with them again or message but forgiving them is a good and peaceful step to make. We must learn and train our minds to move on. What made it harder for me was that I was very friendly to them, particularly, one of them. I have to look at it as their own loss rather than mine. People react in their own way. It had just become a tense living situation and now I don’t have to look back with so much negativity. Sometimes we just have to accept that not everyone will treat you in the same fair way. That is life.
What we can do is look forward and remember the past as the past. Make sure when you reflect you don’t overthink. Reflecting can be positive.
Time to be positive 