Triggering

Last night I went for a Christmas work meal and it was lovely. I do get along with my colleagues and I very rarely go out in the evenings.

What lead up to it, though, was the worry surrounding having something to drink. I know I said I wouldn’t have anything but a part of me wanted to. I wanted to feel like I could. I didn’t have much but it was triggering for me. Not because I used to be an alcoholic but because I said I gave up drinking due to reasons I discussed in a previous blog post. It makes me feel uneasy afterwards and I can get different levels of anxiety.

I felt hot, sick and my heart was racing in the night. I’m not sure if it was because I had a couple of drinks or it was because of all the food. I know I didn’t drink much but the temptation to drink more was there and I’m so glad I didn’t. Yet, I was close to having more and this is the worrying thing. People say “Oh, there’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks ” and I tend to agree, but, for me I just cannot drink. No matter how much. There’s always going to be a trigger with it. So I wanted to write a quick and short honest blog post. I’m staying away from it.

You have to look at what is best for you. In future I will make sure I drive and bring a treat with me or decide what non alcoholic beverage I’m going to have before I go so that I’m prepared. I have to weigh the pros and cons.

Live life to the fullest. For me that is a life away from alcohol.