Be the best version of YOU

For a long time I had been trying to improve myself, constantly comparing to others. While it can be a good thing to look to others as an inspiration it is not healthy to compare (even if you come across somewhat ‘better ‘)

I try to start off my day with a positive mindset. With this kind of mindset it puts me in a motivational mood for the day. In one of my older blog posts I mentioned about starting the day with reading a quote. One quote I think we should all follow is “Be the best version of you”.

Being yourself in a competitive world isn’t always easy. One thing I had researched is what makes me happy-what do I value? Use it as your motivation to be the best version of you. For a long time I struggled with trying to be like other people and trying to be someone I was not. This was not healthy. We all compare to an extent but we should not let it stop us from being ourselves. Being the best version of you means embracing all that you are.

A part of me is still trying to develop how I think and act but I’m ensuring that I don’t change who I am, I just build up confidence in myself. Another thing I learnt recently is having more self compassion rather than more self esteem. Knowing that you are enough and that you are good enough is having this belief. This was quite hard for me because I didn’t have much, if any, self compassion for a while. It is something we all need. If there are areas in life that you feel needs improvement then by all means, work on that; just make sure it serves you purpose. I’m always trying to improve at work but I’m at a place now that I feel more confident in the ideas that I come up with.

Don’t compare, work on yourself for you.

Social Media Anxiety

So, when I talk about social media here I am mainly talking about Instagram and Facebook. Now, although it may be a bit controversial as so many people use it, it has certainly come up a lot and it’s something that has affected me.

I got rid of my Facebook account about 2 years ago and I’m so glad I did. To me, it did not serve any purpose other than to obsessively scroll and see how many likes I get compared to others. I was constantly checking it to see what people were up to and to tell you the truth it made me feel pretty terrible. I would analyse and read so much into invites, likes, people’s comments and pictures that it was taking over and had a bad impact on my mental health. I feel it was a huge weight lifted off when I got rid of it. I decided that if people really wanted to contact me they could WhatsApp, text or call. I did not feel so anxious because I didn’t have this need to log in.

Instagram was hard. I had it about 4 times and even recently I was considering creating an account just to follow posts on ideas for work. I realised that this was not going to be a good idea. Even though I’ve grown and overcome some of these anxieties it still holds a negative place in my heart and it would only make me think of all the negatives and anxiety that came with it. For me, I could see myself creating the same habits I had on Facebook, but this time it felt worse. Why wasn’t I getting this many likes and why was I constantly in this comparison trap? It had to stop. I’m in a much better place mentally but I could still not get it as it’s just not me. As someone who has suffered from a mild form of an eating disorder aswell it was quite triggering at times.

I’m not saying that if you have these accounts that you’re in trouble or a bad person, it’s just my take on it as it was not good for my mental health. I do, however, have Twitter but I’ve never felt the same as when I had Instagram or Facebook. It can also be a place of connectivity and positivity. Maybe use it to share some wisdom, positive quotes or to cheer someone up. If you have any of these sites and you enjoy it then I am glad for you. May be take a social media break occasionally-text or call. You might be surprised at how you feel when you’re not on it for a while. Just don’t let it take over.

Being an Introvert

This is something I am quite passionate about. I had been battling with it for a while and I know that through research I am not alone in this and that others have also felt this way but I have come to a place of acceptance

I used to be a very shy person growing up. After a while I just overcame my shyness because it was making things pretty difficult so I went to uni and thought I could be this loud, really outgoing person. The only way I felt comfortable doing this was by drinking, which, of course, didn’t work. The truth is, it just isn’t me. Now, you don’t have to be loud to be social. Yes, I’m a quiet person, but I would count myself as sociable to an extent. I wouldn’t say I’m so quiet that people don’t know what to say to me. I tend to listen and think more (doesn’t mean I say clever things though!) It’s something I’ve accepted.

So why do I feel like I have to accept being an introvert? In today’s society it feels as though extroverts are everywhere and people tend to lean more towards them for social gatherings or media attention. But being an introvert is not a bad thing. People may find extroverts harder to talk to. Introverts just prefer their own company or the company of a small group. Perhaps there’s more meaningful conversations. I feel like I’m more myself if I’m with just a few people and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I have sometimes beaten myself up because I did not speak up or I worried I did not say enough. People don’t generally take notice of this, particularly extroverts. Don’t beat yourself up. If there is something you want to say then just say it. The thing with being an introvert is that we tend to be prone to overthinking. Perhaps have a section in the day or evening where you think about this feeling or situation, write it down then tell yourself to let it go and realise Is it really that important? Don’t spend time dwelling when you could be doing something positive for yourself.

You should not feel you have to be someone you’re not as it just does not work. Embrace all that you are and be you because there’s no point in trying to be someone else, wouldn’t that be boring?

New Year Goals

It’s not easy to start again when you have no motivation. So I’m here to tell you that you can do it if you give yourself a chance. It has been a tough year for many. I, myself am a bit of an introvert so I didn’t think I would find it too difficult being in lockdown. The truth is I did struggle not having as much face to face interaction. It’s so refreshing when you can talk to people you have lots in common with. So in order to make ourselves feel better, we look at our phones and search for distractions. We have lost some of our motivation because we are not getting much variety. So, how do we get it back?

In order for me to feel more motivated, particularly in the new year, I like to set daily tasks and goals. For the new year I will have my big goals (ones I want to achieve by the end of the year, monthly goals too) and my small goals (weekly goals). That way I know that there’s something I can focus on to achieve whether it be to eat healthier, cook more or stop overthinking. I also make sure to write daily positives about each day at the end of the day (even if it’s been tough!) You’ll be surprised how much better it makes you feel :). Your main focus should be on ensuring you live each day the best you can. Now there’s no pressure; we can’t be motivated 24/7 and we can’t be positive all the time (It’s unnatural!) But, what we can do is make sure we can bounce back, forgive ourselves and have self compassion.

Hello to you

Starting the day…

As I’m figuring out how to write this blog I’m thinking about where to begin. Well, it makes sense that I write about the beginning of your day. So, how do you start your day?

On a work day you’re most likely in a rush. You’ll probably get up, have a shower and quickly grab a coffee. You may even have breakfast if you are a breakfast type person (I know I am). Do you read or watch something on your way to work? If so, does it entertain you or inspire you? On a day off, I imagine things are a bit more relaxed. You’ll probably wake up later, you might shower later and think about breakfast at some point. Do you have a routine to clear your mind?

The thing is with getting up I like to fit in my “quote of the day “. It may sound cheesy, or lame but it’s something to help me start my day positive. I go on Pinterest and look at my saved quotes or search for something then I choose one I’d like to think about that day. I don’t always remember what it is or I don’t always follow it but I find it so handy to help me go about my day. Usually, after I’ve done my workout I feel really refreshed and this is when I remember my quote.

I think it’s important to start the day with something positive. Follow a quote and do something for you, fit in some time so that you can try to have a day that resonates that quote.

My First Blog Post

When you focus on the good, the good gets better

Be Kind to You

This is the first post on my blog. I’d like to start by sharing with you what my blog is about…

I hope that my blog can inspire people to find something positive in everyday situations. I will be posting about how to be happier and to increase your self esteem so that you can be the best you! I will be putting in my experiences and what has helped me live a more positive life. I have had struggled with anxiety, depression, a slight eating disorder and a lot of negative self talk. I have turned it around which has not been easy and I still struggle from time to time but, my overall well-being has improved. I hope that my stories and posts can help others.