Setbacks

Life can be full of surprises. Things do not always go according to plan and that can leave us feeling deflated at times. It is with this that we can also learn how to move forwards.

I have mentioned before about goals and fresh starts and how these also can come with a few setbacks. This is something I have found that has happened recently. So, the new year is what I believe to be a great time to have a big fresh start; a time where you can start again, to renew and to learn from the past year. I felt that I had started the new year very well. The first day felt so positive and I felt like I was achieving so much already. Of course, with this feeling also comes the other side. A few incidents and emotions run high and I felt dissapointed in myself. I felt like I was not the person I had set myself out to be. I was letting the same things get to me too easily again so it felt like I was not achieving and I was just repeating the same old habits.

I believe that when this kind of feeling of dissapointment comes along then you have to learn to deal with it in a way that is helpful. Of course I knew that the fresh feeling was not going to emerge everyday, but, because of this dissapointment and pressure I felt myself feeling negatively towards those goals. Perhaps it was time to look at some new goals. The thing with this, though, was that I did not dwell on these feelings like I used to, I made sure of that. This is because I had learnt from it. As easy as it is to sit on those feelings because, in a way, you feel like it’ll make you feel better, maybe to try and analyse or reason with it; this is not helpful thinking. I found myself getting over these situations quicker which was part of my goals. So, I had achieved something because I showed that I had learnt from previous experiences.

I do still remind myself that it is okay to have setbacks. This is especially true if you have been repeating habits. It is hard but you can ensure that you learn from them. You have to train and to practice so that you can feel better about things next time. Life will keep throwing things at you and no one is perfect. One way of looking at it is reframing how you think about a situation or feelings about yourself.

My biggest setback is my emotional reactions. I sometimes still react in a way that causes me to feel bad about myself, but, I have learnt to let those feelings melt away instead of beating myself up. We have to accept those feelings and let them flow through us. Do not ignore them but ensure that you are learning from it and asking what is helpful about this situation.

I think that you have an opportunity to start fresh again the next day if you feel you have had a few setbacks. It is also important to keep taking small steps each day for working on your goals that are small and achievable as well as working towards some larger goals over time.

Don’t let setbacks stop your life journey